Tuesday, August 28, 2007

198/365 Wheels

So I had a plane to take me to a place so far away from you
Eventually we began to see that we could be completely free
And I could get away from you
And you could get away from me
And we could live each separately in our cities in the sun

There were a couple of days last week during which I felt fairly worthless. I’d had a couple of conversations that had, without meaning to, rather shattered my self-esteem. I knew what I was feeling was temporary, but it sucked.

I had seen a movie earlier in the week, Waitress, during which a Cake song was played called “Short Skirt/Long Jacket.” I like Cake, and I liked the song, but I don’t have that CD (and yes, I’m still a CD buyer). But I’d had that experience of having been so into my first Cake CD (Fashion Nugget) that when I bought my second (Pressure Chief), I played it a few times but wasn’t that into it, so I never bought another one. After the movie, I thought I should give Pressure Chief another try. It could be Los Lobos/Colossal Head all over again.

It kinda was. All of it sounded good on Friday. The first track, “Wheels,” is one of those great, bitter, I-am-so-over-you songs. (But then again, no: [I don’t know] why you say you are not in love with me.)

Then a friend called me with a story about picking up the phone to—on a whim—call a former lover who had pretty seriously screwed up her world a couple of years back. She’s over him, quite moved on, and in a position of strength-and-being-past-it-ness, so she called him to check in.

Thinking back on this love gone seriously wrong brought this song into my head once more.

It sounded like their conversation was tentative, but good, maybe healing. I can’t say I would have advised her to do this, if I’d been asked. Sometimes it’s best to never see or talk to someone again. (Obviously, though, I can’t know what’s best for someone else.)

There are very few people in the world I hope to never see or hear from again, but maybe one or two or three bring that Clarence Darrow quote to mind: “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” So far, these people have not appeared in the obituaries, so I don’t know for sure that reading them would bring me pleasure—but it’s possible they would not bring me sadness either. Who knows? So far, I don’t.

Speaking of possible death, I found this great longboard footage on Youtube to go with this song. Totally fun.

In a seedy karaoke bar
By the banks of the mighty Bosphorus
Is a Japanese man in a business suit singing “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”
And the muscular cyborg German dudes dance with sexy French Canadians
While the overweight Americans wear their patriotic jumpsuits


Sewa Yoleme said...

I am dazzled, and a little cowed, by your vast knowledge of music. I've never even heard *of* Cake, much less heard them.

But why your self-esteem should EVER feel shattered, even for a moment, is beyond me. You are one of the most amazing people I've ever known.

You say you're "still a CD buyer." Is that now passé too? I am so frigging old.

Helen said...

Yes, I also think you're one of the most amazing people I've ever known, and I don't even know you, except via these blogs.

I really liked Waitress. I'm a sucker for any movie that features food and torrid sex (Chocolat was another favourite, and Like Water for Chocolate).

Indigo Bunting said...

SY: If you are dazzled and cowed by my "vast knowledge of music," then it's possible you should be careful when looking into the godlike light that is the musical knowledge of Deloney or Mrs. Slocombe. Seriously, I'm fairly pathetic, and things I know I know by chance.

Does that make you more pathetic still? Possibly.

I am still among the iPodless, and I still like liner notes. So I'm not downloading single songs, which I'm sure has its charm. Just not there yet.

I am so friggin' old too and am so glad to have another senior citizen like you by my side.

SY and H: Remind me next time my self-esteem is suffering to say something in a blog and get some ego strokes! Thanks! Obviously, you two are among my favorites as well, which is why I am always wishing Helen had a blog. Good news? She's an excellent lurker. (For the story on SY and lurkers, see http://50x210.blogspot.com/search?q=lurk.)

H: I too am a sucker for any movie (or thing) that features food and torrid sex. I loved all of those films.

It is clear that I'm trying to extend my lunch hour now, when I really should be getting back to "Cervical Cancer Precursors and Their Management."

Bridgett said...

Both Chocolate movies, I agree--I guess I'll have to see Waitress now...and IB, I'm still a CD buyer too.

And I can hear the melancholy in your voice here. Sometimes a break in the self esteem isn't so bad. As long as you bounce back.

Indigo Bunting said...

B: Point well taken. And sometimes it's interesting just to watch the old self-esteem crumble, note what makes it happen, and just remember how fragile everything is.

Mrs Slocombe said...

We are just old,retentive, farts at play (I speak for Deloney as well, presumptuously) and I don't know nothing about Cake: so you are the more hipperer.As for food and sex movies, how about 'Tampopo': slurpy noodle noodling....weather passes through us all, rain and sun.

Indigo Bunting said...

Mrs. Slocombe: I very nearly mentioned Tampopo by name in my ramblings, but let it go. I remember only bits and pieces from that film, but some were quite...vivid. A food film great.